sabotage is ugly. It’s an ugly word and the meaning of it is even uglier…
sab·o·tage: : an act or process tending to hamper or hurt
People do it to us and even worse… we do it to ourselves. Usually, it’s when we are feeling vulnerable. Nothing worse than kicking yourself when down. Sometimes it’s when something deep within over-rides our common sense. Like when I ate that piece of cheese cake late last night when no one was looking. Yep. The one that has been looking at me through the refrigerator doors since last Thursday. I could rationalize and say I lasted a week… it’s the only time I “cheated”, but I’m not. I could say “no biggie”, but I’m not.
I’m just going to stay pissed enough at myself so I don’t eat the bread pudding that is now in the refrigerator. The one that my husband brought home for me tonight KNOWING that I’m not eating sweets or food. “Come on Amy he says… you can have one piece”. No. I can’t. Why? Because there is a bigger goal and I am going to reach it in spite of myself.
I haven’t lost a pound in three days. I’m sure that cheese cake isn’t going to help the scale tomorrow, but that’s okay. I walked three miles to make up for it and I am back on track. xo Amy
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